Will I ever get things right...

I was sat inside. I wasn't aloud out, incase some random human came walking by. I didn't like it, but I didn't argue with it. Jasper had tried to convice them to kick me out, but thanks to Rose, Carlisle and Luke Jasper had agreed to let me stay on a few conditions. One was that I stayed inside, Most of the family were out hunting, but I wasn't alone. That was another of his conditions; Someone had to keep an eye on me at all times. Of corse he didn't let Alice watch me. Ugh. It was so annoying being locked inside. Especailly when your house was basically made of glass and you could see outside.

I wandered downstairs after hearing Zoe's thoughts run through her head. I had been put 'in charge' of her. I wasn't going to boss her around. But of course, when Jasper asks, I was as strict as Ms Evans the Math teacher. I hesitated on the bottom step, incase she wanted to be alone. Then I decided that she'd tell me if she did so I walked over to her. "Hey Zo," I half-smiled. I remembered what the Cullens had been like when I was a newborn. I stood a few foot behind her.

I heard Becca come downstairs. "Hey Becca" I said, turning around. Like when the others were around me she stood a few foot back.

I smiled and walked closer to her. "I know how you feel," I promised, putting a hand on her arm. "and I'm not gonna make you be someone you're not. So we're going outside."

A sudden wave of happiness came over me when she said we were going outside, but then it faded. "You know Jasper will kill you, plus theres a chance that I could lose it." I pointed out, sighing.

I scoffed, hugging her. "I can take Jazz. And I'll help you. That's what I'm here for. Plus, Jazz doesn't need to know." I smiled. "You're my sister, now. I won't let you lose control, but I won't have you locked up inside."

I flinched a little as she hugged me then sighed. "Yeah but I don't want you to get hurt." I said. "I'd rather be cooped up in here then hurt someone."

I felt her shudder and backed off a bit to give her space. "I won't let you hurt anyone. There's a lot about my past that no one knows apart from Edward and Holly." I smiled, leaning against the window wall.

"Thats the thing though... once i lose control you wont be able to stop me. Didnt holly tell you xbout what happened?" I asked.

"She didn't need to," I smiled. "I heard it in her head and in yours." I took her hand and dragged her over to the TV, leaning foward and touching the screen. I hoped I didn't scare her too much. I hung my head in shame and also not wanting to watch them again.

The memories that played were ones straight after my change. The guy, Toby, his jobs for me. To make sure that the newborns only hunted once per week. To teach them control. I'd learnt ways to help them...and ways to destroy them, if needed. The amount of times I'd killed. The amount of times I'd fought. And won.. just.

I touched the screen and it went black.

My eyes widened as I watched her memories play back through the tv. I froze as I saw her destroying newborns. I jumped off the sofa and started backing away, scared.

I heard her thoughts pass throuugh her head and groaned quietly. I reached out and touuched the screen. "This is what wouuld happen if I disobeyed him,"

The next memories were hard to take. To block them out, I focused on the thoughts of a herd of elk passing by. I pulled my jacket off and revealed scars around my shoulder, where my arm had been torn off many times.

I gulped and stopped backing away. Though I made no attempt to come any closer. I was still scared.

I knew she was still scared so I moved a few steps back and pulled my jacket back over my shoulders. "Zoe, I'm not like that anymore. The Cullens helped my move on from that. To destroy Toby.That was a hundred and fifty years ago. Please, Zoe. Trust me." I pleaded quietly.

I sighed and moved a little closer, until I was just behind th sofa. I wanted to trust her, so I'd try to.

I could see that she wanted to trust me. She just couldn't. But I trusted her. "Come outside. Come into the forest and see exactly why I trust you so much."

I sighed and nodded, maybe if I knew why she trusted me I might trust her.

I saw her slight hesitation and drifted over to the door and opened it. "Trust, I smiled.

I hesitantly stepped outside, holding my breath.

I closed the door behind me and walked on the right side of Zoe. I wrapped my left arm around her waist gently and rested my right hand on her right shoulder.
"Sorry," I whispered, walking with her, taking a path so close to the one the humans took.

My eyes widened and I tried to fight against her grip, how could she bring me close to humans?! Jasper would kill Becca for doing this! What was she thinking?!

I walked her about ten foot from the human path, following it perfectly. She could learn to handle the human scent without being near humans. I heard Zoe's thoughts. "I don't care if he throws me on a bonfire. This is going to help you. I promise."

I faught against her grip even more desperate to get away from the scent.

My grip on Zoe tightened and we walked a bit faster. I didn't hold her tight enough to hurt her, just to make sure she stayed.
"Zoe. Breathe.Trust me." I moved my grip onto her shoulders and turned her to face me. "Breathe."

I shooked my head from side to side. No! I thought.